It is said that to hold on to anger is like picking up a hot coal with the intention of throwing it at your enemy. You are the one who gets burned.
Many of us understand this intellectually, but actually letting go of anger is not so simple.
In order to forgive, we must first heal the hurt that caused the anger.
To heal anger – to heal our wounded hearts so that we can let go of anger – we must first give ourselves permission to feel the anger. We need to hear that, yes, something bad did happen to us, and that we didn’t deserve it.
You need someone to say:
Yes, you have been wounded. I believe you.
I really do.
You can tell me about it, and I will take your side, because your pain matters to me.
You matter to me.
If you haven’t received that in the past, then of course you’ve found it difficult to forgive.
But all that can change now.
This book offers an empathetic approach to healing your wounded heart, so you can let go of the anger and break the chain of resentment that keeps you bound to the people and situations that have hurt you. This gentle approach is also applied to the process of forgiving oneself.
“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” — Louis B. Smedes
You don’t need to have read The Secret of Emotions to understand everything in this book, but it would put it into a larger context. Save 20% when you purchase them together.
Note: This is not a picture book. The gallery pictures are memes I made for FaceBook.
Here is the Table of Contents:
Kiss It and Make It Feel Better 1
The Long Path to the Feel Better 4
It All Starts with the “Owie” 8
Understanding the Role of Anger 10
What We Are Angry About 19
Forgiving Our Core Sins 24
An Exercise for Uncovering Dysfunctional Beliefs 27
Projecting Our Shame onto Others 39
Forgiving Our Minor Transgressions 43
Forgiving Our Major Transgressions 45
Loving Ourselves 51
Forgiving Others 53
Resistance to Forgiveness 56
Reframing Your Experiences 60
Is It Anger, Displaced Anger, or Rage? 65
Learning Your Triggers 68
Five Steps towards Forgiveness 72
Asking for God’s Help 80
Validating the Letting Go 85
Twelve Ways to Forgive 88
Supplemental Material 90
Training your Friends 90
Dealing with Triggers 92
20 Anger Management Tricks 94
The Health Effects of Anger vs. Forgiveness 100
Healing through Character Strengths 102
The Secret of Depression 105
How Can I Forgive Myself? Isn’t That God’s Right? 106
Prayers for Forgiveness 107
An Assortment of Quotations about Forgiveness 110
8.5 x 5.5″ 128 pages.