Twelve Ways to Forgive – A Recovery Pamphlet

“The practice of forgiveness is our most important contribution to the healing of the world.” — Marianne Williamson

The response to my book and talks about forgiveness has been tremendous, but, sadly, people don’t read books anymore. They like bulleted lists with easy answers. Well, I can’t offer easy answers, but I can give you a bulleted list of twelve ways to forgive. They won’t all apply to every situation, but every situation can benefit from at least one of them.

Each of the twelve ways (listed below) is followed by a supporting quotation or two from a wide range of authors and philosophers.

Use this for personal reflection, or give it to a friend or client who is struggling with a personal injury that they just can’t seem to let go of.

It will help.

I promise.

I’ve included pictures of the whole thing so you can read it for yourself for free. That is my gift to you.

If you like what you read, and you DO still read, consider ordering a copy of the book it is based on, The Secret of Forgiveness. If you are a therapist, consider ordering the poster that goes with it.

Twelve Ways to Forgive
1) Love yourself enough that the other person’s actions, comments, or opinions no longer matter to you.
2) Share your story with someone non-judgmental who cares about you, and who can validate your feelings and soothe your pain.
3) Remember that hurt people hurt people and gain a more empathetic perspective on the actions of the person who hurt you.
4) Gain a more mature perspective on the event and realize that it wasn’t intended to be hurtful at all.
5) Realize that the anger you felt was the result of being triggered, and the person who triggered you was probably not intentionally at fault.
6) Without the mind-fog of shame, guilt, or anger, recognize your own part in the conflict, and stop blaming the other person.
7) Decide that however real the injustice, your energy is better spent focused on healing rather than assigning blame and taking revenge.
8) Redirect the energy of resentment into positive action focused on healing and service.
9) Focus on restorative justice rather than revenge – taking constructive action to protect yourself and others against future injustices.
10) Pray for the person who hurt you.
11) Ask God to remove your resentments so you can forgive others as you have been forgiven.
12) Acknowledge the strengths gained and lessons learned from your pain, and be grateful that it has made you a better person, who loves themselves.