Twelve Ways to Forgive – A Recovery Pamphlet

Twelve Ways to Forgive

Forgiveness can be one of life’s greatest challenges, yet it can also open the door to healing, understanding, and peace. Whether we’re struggling to forgive someone else or learning to forgive ourselves, the process takes time, patience, and compassion.

This pamphlet offers an introduction to the meaning and importance of forgiveness. It draws on the central messages of our full-length book in a shorter, easy-to-share format. It’s a thoughtful resource for personal reflection, group discussions, workshops, and anyone seeking a path toward greater understanding and emotional healing.

“The practice of forgiveness is our most important contribution to the healing of the world.” — Marianne Williamson

The response to the book and talks by Justice Saint Rain about forgiveness has been tremendous. But, sadly, people don’t read books anymore. They like bulleted lists with easy answers. I can’t offer easy answers, but I can give you a bulleted list of twelve ways to forgive. They won’t all apply to every situation, but every situation can benefit from at least one of them.

Each of the twelve ways (listed below) is followed by a supporting quotation or two from a wide range of authors and philosophers.

Use this for personal reflection, or give it to a friend or client who is struggling with an issue they just can’t let go.

It will help.

I promise.

I’ve included pictures of the whole thing so you can read it for yourself for free. That is my gift to you.

If you like what you read, order the book it is based on, The Secret of Forgiveness. If you are a therapist, consider ordering the poster that goes with it.

Twelve Ways to Forgive

1) Love yourself enough that the other person’s actions, comments, or opinions no longer matter to you.

2) Share your story with someone non-judgmental who cares about you, and who can validate your feelings and soothe your pain.

3) Remember that hurt people hurt people and gain a more empathetic perspective on the actions of the person who hurt you.

4) Realize the event wasn’t intended to be hurtful at all.

5) Realize that the anger you felt was the result of being triggered, and the person who triggered you was probably not intentionally at fault.

6) Without the mind-fog of shame, guilt, or anger, recognize your own part in the conflict, and stop blaming the other person.

7) Your energy is better spent focused on healing rather than assigning blame and taking revenge. Make that decision.

8) Redirect the energy of resentment into positive action focused on healing and service.

9) Focus on restorative justice rather than revenge – taking constructive action to protect yourself and others against future injustices.

10) Pray for the person who hurt you.

11) Ask God to remove your resentments so you can forgive others as you have been forgiven.

12) Acknowledge the strengths gained and lessons learned from your pain, and be grateful that it has made you a better person, who loves themselves.